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IVAN METHUSELAH (21° October 1944 - 22° October 2014) was an AVW journalist from 2001 to his death in 2014. Born in Bath, his father was a Jewish refugee from Danzig and his mother managed three grocers' shops (White's) inherited from her father. The family was the first in their street to own a television set, though Ivan had already developed an interest in the moving image through childhood trips to the local picture house. In 1959, at the age of 15, Ivan began his journalistic career with an apprenticeship at the Keynsham Courier. He moved onto the staff of the Bristol Herald in 1962. 

In 1972, Ivan met Hela Czerwińska, a Polish biologist and visiting scholar at the University of Bristol. The two had a daughter, Irene. Hela returned to Poland with Irene in 1976, and was later part of the dissident Polish Flying University. Ivan lost contact with Hela and Irene in 1981. 

It is assumed that Hela and Irene's departure in 1976 was a contributory factor towards Ivan losing his job at the Bristol Herald that same year. He soon managed to find employment with the Cardiff Reporter but disliked working there, and in 1979 he moved north, taking a job at the Rotherham Recorder. In 1983 he submitted a review of Return of the Jedi to a local fanzine, and this was seen by the Recorder's editor, John Schofield, who was impressed with the writing and asked Ivan to shadow the syndicated film column they currently used at the paper. Schofield was happy with the trial and from early 1984 Ivan's film reviews became a regular feature for the Recorder. Ivan also contributed to television, theatre and concert reviews, and received a good deal of support early on for his enthusiastic and carefully scathing commentaries from miners' benefit performances. By the time his photograph was appearing on his by-line he had already curated his trademark large white beard and thick-framed glasses.

In 1992, Ivan published his first book: After Endor. Now considered a landmark in textual analysis, it is perhaps best summed up by the following excerpt:

The events in the final reel of Return of the Jedi leave us in no doubt as to the fate of the Sanctuary Moon of Endor: the detonation of an immense space-station in a low orbit, and the sort of 'fireworks' we see during the celebrations spell nothing short of an Ewok holocaust... In omitting to show this carnage, Lucas and his directors are making an editorial decision which casts the Rebels as heroic victors, but the truth is almost certainly far more complicated... the decision to end at this particular point of celebration, when there is much unresolved both in the present location and in the wider Galaxy is a political decision: we view these events through the prism of propaganda... If the Star Wars trilogy is a documentary cut in the interests of the Rebellion, even the backstory crawls cannot be trusted and so it is that we must ask ourselves "is this Evil Empire really so?"

2001 saw Ivan's first involvement with AVW when A/V Woman Productions published Ivan's second book: Buffy the Homicidal Maniac, an exploration of the value of life and the nature of death in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Then in October of that year he joined the AView editorial staff in the role he would occupy until his death. 

In 2003 Ivan was diagnosed with a benign but inoperable tumour, the first effect of which was to reduce his bladder capacity beyond the length of most films. This was a great frustration to Ivan, who dubbed the tumour Margaret (after Margaret Thatcher, and with reference to Dennis Potter's Rupert). He shifted his energies to TV reviews, and in 2004 he embarked upon his much-celebrated Digi-Box Rationbook project which he ran for six years before Margaret put a stop to that too. Ivan continued to engage with AView as much as health would allow (including collaborations with Aidan Ross: Racing News and The Library of News), and he presented a series of programmes on ATV, including arts magazine The Foyer, film-club strand Early Cinema and the award-winning TV-criticism show Boxed In. Throughout his time at AVW he was also part of the AView Eurovision Jury.

2012 was not a good year for Ivan. It began with the death of his cat, Lauren (after Lauren Laverne), who had been regularly namechecked in his columns. He said that television died that same year (although he was referring to digital switchover rather than ennui). It was also in 2012 that Ivan's tumour became malignant, and he was told not to expect to make his 70th birthday. 

But like his Biblical namesake, Ivan Methuselah was intent upon living longer than might be considered usual under the circumstances. Six months prior to his 70th birthday he set up a Twitter account subtitled "Ivan Methuselah has six months to live tweet", and he was determined to see two things before he would accede to death: enjoy his birthday and make it to the end of the first Capaldi series of Doctor Who. He managed the former in a small celebration with friends, after which, at 10:39pm, he tweeted "Doctor Who seems a lot better this year." He died the following afternoon with three episodes left in the series.

 

When asked for his favourite film, Ivan famously replied: "well it's Citizen Kane but I usually tell people it's Watership Down to sound more interesting."

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A NEW SOAP is a comic strip, a corresponding run of graphic novels, and a spin-off series of TV movies. The stories follow the fantastical adventures of a group of York students who include the four AVW founders and their friends (albeit depicted as being played by celebrities). The series is noted for its pop-culture references and local in-jokes. Such was the success of the series that its casting of Christopher Eccleston in the role of 'Doctor Who' (first established in 2000) was subsequently adopted by the BBC.

The title, A New Soap, and the use of "Episode" to denote each part, is a deliberate homage to the original Star Wars film (aka Episode IV: A New Hope).

The comic strip

Published as part of AView, it was written by Stew Chester and drawn by Alex Jefferson. The first strip appeared in February 1999. The last new serialisation concluded in May 2002.

The graphic novels

PPP began publishing the strips in graphic novel form from early 2000. In May 2002 they published the first straight-to-book story: The New Soap T-N-G. This was followed in 2003 by TARDIS Down.

The TV series

The opening night of ATV featured a trailer for "Episode Nought: A New Soap" which aired on 6th May 2006. This was followed by adaptations of each book. In March 2008, ANSX became the only story to premiere in the TV format, while 2015's The Foss Awakens (another Star Wars pun) had a simultaneous release as a TV movie and a graphic novel.

Publication history:

THE PILOT EPISODES:

A group of students in a dorm at the University of York awake to find their cleaning lady has been murdered.

Episode 1: A New Soap - 19th February 1999 (AView 01:04)

Episode 2: A New Soap - 19th March 1999 (AView 01:05)

(graphic novel published March 2000, incorporating unissued Episode 3)

THE CRYSTAL OF ENDERON:

The students are embroiled in the search for a magical crystal.

Episode 4: A New Soap - 20th August 1999  (AView 01:10) (note: there was no Episode 3)

A New Soap: Episode 5 - 24th September 1999 (AView 01:11)

A New Soap: Episode 6 - 22nd October 1999 (AView 01:12)

Episode 7 - 19th November 1999 (AView 02:01)

Episode 8: The Christmas Special -  17th December 1999 (AView 02:03)

Episode 9 - 7th January 2000 (AView 02:04)

(graphic novel published October 2000)

(TV adaptation, June 2006)

THE SEARCH FOR TOSH:

The students are sucked into their television and must find their way back home.

Episode 10 - 4th February 2000 (AView 02:06)

Episode 11 - 18th February 2000 (AView 02:07)

Episode 12 - 3rd March 2000 (AView 02:08)

Episode 13 - 17th March 2000 (AView 02:09)

Episode 14 - 31st March 2000 (AView 02:10)

The Easter Special pt.I - 14th April 2000 (AView 02:11)

The Easter Special pt.II - 28th April 2000 (AView 02:12)

(graphic novel published March 2001)

(TV adaptation, July 2006)

FRED HARRIS:

Still trapped in the television universe, the students learn that their only hope is to find Fred Harris.

Episode 17 - 12th May 2000 (AView 02:13)

Episode 18 - 26th May 2000 (AView 02:14)

Episode 19 - 9th June 2000 (AView 02:15)

Episode 20 - 23rd June 2000 (AView 02:16)

Episode 21 - 7th July 2000 (AView 02:17)

(graphic novel published June 2001)

(TV adaptation, August 2006)

CARIBBEAN HOLIDAY SPECIAL:

The students find themselves cast adrift on the high seas.

Episode 22 - 21st July 2000 (AView 02:18)

Episode 23 - 4th August 2000 (AView 02:19)

Episode 24 - 18th August 2000 (AView 02:20)

(graphic novel published August 2001, incorporating unissued Episode 25)

(TV adaptation, September 2006)

THE NEW SOAP PREQUELS:

Star Wars spoof in which the students play characters from their history.

Episode -n - 1st September 2000 (AView 02:21)

The second episode - 15th September 2000 (AView 02:22)

The third episode - 29th September 2000 (AView 02:23)

(graphic novel published October 2001)

(TV adaptation, October 2006)

JIM V SIDDOR:

The students must face their deadliest enemy: Jim's dad.

Episode 26: The Cheese of Ragnor - 27th October 2000  (AView 02:25) (note: there was no Episode 25)

Episode 27: Recreational Winter Trapezoid - 24th November 2000 (AView 03:01)

Episode 28: Good Morning Swansea - 8th December 2000 (AView 03:03)

Episode 29: Narwhals Ate My Rhino Card - 29th December 2000 (AView 03:05)

Episode 30: The Final Episode - 12th January 2001 (AView 03:07)

(graphic novel published December 2001)

(TV adaptation, December 2006 (two episodes))

THE T-N-G TRAILERS:

Eight vignettes to tease a forthcoming graphic novel.

Trailer 1 - 5th April 2002 (AView 04:18)
Trailer 2 - 12th April 2002 (AView 04:19)
Trailer 3 - 19th April 2002 (AView 04:20)
Trailer 4 - 26th April 2002 (AView 04:21) (note: two different versions)
Trailer 5 - 3rd May 2002 (AView 04:22)
Trailer 6 - 10th May (AView 04:23)
Trailer 7 - 17th May 2002 (AView 04:24)
Trailer 8 - 24th May 2002 (AView 04:25)

THE NEW SOAP T-N-G:

Geese are plotting to destroy the Earth. Can our students stop them?

(published as a graphic novel, May 2002; no serialisation)

(TV adaptation, April 2007)

TARDIS DOWN:

The students are stranded on an alien planet without any female companionship.

(published as a graphic novel, December 2003; no serialisation)

(TV adaptation, July 2007) 

BABYSHAM:

Six part series of stand-alone comics in which the students find themselves in Hell.

(published monthly: May-October 2004; last issue published in two different versions)

(TV adaptation, September/October 2007 (six episodes))

EPISODE NOUGHT: A NEW SOAP:

TV adaptation of the Pilot Episodes; first broadcast 6th May 2006.

ANSX:

TV movie, first shown 23rd March 2008. The students hatch a plan to escape Hell.

(graphic novel published November 2008)

A NEW SOAP: THE FOSS AWAKENS:

Simultaneously released as a TV movie and a graphic novel, Christmas 2015.

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DIWYDIANFA (the name is a corruption of the Welsh for "Industry", and is taken from a misprint in a Welsh/English dictionary) were a left-wing Welsh Nationalist performance art collective who were responsible for the London Bomb. The name was first applied in 1996 to an aggressive rock band formerly known as Cyfeb (itself a rebranding of an earlier outfit: The Angels of Death).

The Angels of Death were formed in Carmarthen in 1980 as a backing band for Leeds-born guitarist John Craven. The original lineup consisted of former Gong guitarist Steve Hillage and session keyboardist Carl Whittington, plus Petra Corren and Dewi Newbold from legendary Welshpool punks Dirywio. Warren Smith, Adrian Mooney and Chris Holland of Dirywio's old rivals The Seed, had replaced Hillage, Whittington and the erratic Newbold by 1984.

The Seed had been formed in Bangor in 1974, and had established themselves as an important Welsh Punk / New Wave act. Initially raw pub-rock, they progressed to a more mature punk sound before dabbling with electronics on their second album. Their rivalry with Dirywio was largely stage-managed by the Clustcwyr label. The later lineup of The Angels of Death was effectively a takeover by The Seed -- only bassist Iain Calloway was left behind from the old lineup, effectively replaced by Petra Corren.

Corren was unquestionably the leading influence within the group, and the source of their growing militancy. She instigated the name-change to Cyfeb in 1992, and, after a spell of pregnancy and child-rearing, the further metamorphosis into the noisier, hip-hop influenced Diwydianfa. 

Diwydianfa released one 7" single each year from 1997 to 2002. The rest of their year was spent on political activism. Diwydianfa left the Clustcwyr label following the ACNC takeover in 2002, and subsequent releases were home-made productions.

Corren stood for Plaid Cymru in the 2005 general election but failed to win her seat. In 2008 she gained a place on the Carmarthenshire County Council, only to be expelled from Plaid two years later after an undisclosed incident involving the council's Chief Executive and an otter. In 2012 she retained her seat as an independent candidate.

Corren chose not to stand for re-election in 2016, instead rekindling Diwydianfa as a performance art collective, for the most-part with new (and no-longer strictly musical) personnel: membership of the group appears to have been somewhat fluid, and Corren herself took something of a back seat after the collective's 2017 stint at the Edinburgh Fringe. They embarked upon a tour of the UK, performing their anarchic blend of music, magic and dance in city centres. One part of their show was a disappearing act using a nuclear missile prop (intended as a metaphor for nuclear disarmament). It is not known where they originally got this prop (common speculation has it that Chris Holland bought it in a pub), but concert footage proves it had been on stage with Diwydianfa before their split with Clustcwyr in 2002. The disappearing missile formed part of a televised routine for ATV's "Saturday Night at the Lindrick Palais" variety programme on 5° May 2018. One viewer wrote in to express concern that the missile was a genuine ex-Soviet weapon (or to congratulate the designer on their copy). Four days later, members of the Diwydianfa troupe (subsequently identified as Cam Jones, Ffion DeGroot, Daf Harris, Ed Llewellyn, Rosie Proctor, Clare Swinford, Alan Stevens, Em McLaren, and an otherwise unidentified performer known only as Hyzenflay) were performing in Trafalgar Square when the device exploded. The detonation is assumed to have been accidental.

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CONSTANCE FELICITY KING (25° January 1959 - ), politician.

Born in Sheffield; raised in Laughton-en-le-Morthen, Rotherham; educated at University of York (Philosophy, 1977-80), University of Sheffield (Librarianship, 1980-1). 

Sheffield Central Library

Assistant Librarian (1981-2); Librarian (1982-6); Chief Librarian (1986-1989)

Sheffield City Council

Arts Committee: lay member (1986-1989); council member (1988-1991)

Councillor (Labour), Sheffield Central ward (1988-2001)

Planning Committee: member (1991-1994); chair (1994-2000)

As a consequence of her meteoric library career (which owed much to her impressive interview skills and cool under pressure), King acquired a lay seat on the Sheffield City Council Arts Committee. An impassioned speech to the committee in 1987 helped persuade the city to abandon a costly bid for the 1991 FISU Universiade student games, and to focus instead on maintaining and developing critical city-centre infrastructure. Her performance encouraged her decision to run for council in 1988, and influenced her move to the city's planning committee, which she would go on to chair. During this period she was undoubtedly instrumental in the approval of a wealth of landmark building projects for ACNC, and she co-authored the city's Millennium development plan.

In 2001 she resigned the council, having been elected Labour Member of Parliament for the new Rotherham constituency of West Lindrick (from 2007 simply Lindrick). In 2002 she gave evidence in the ACNC fraud trial.

Parliamentary Career

Already notorious in Westminster circles for being a “conscientious rebel” (as Tony Benn described her) in the governments of Tony Blair, she rose to public attention in 2007 when she put herself forward as a candidate for party leadership against Blair’s chosen successor Gordon Brown, citing the principle that “leadership should be the choice of the party and not something traded under the table in a restaurant” (a reference to the supposed 'Granita Pact' in which Blair and Brown were understood to have agreed the terms of a political succession). She entered her candidacy less than an hour and a half before the deadline, having struggled to gain the required 45 nominations. King consistently played down the ensuing leadership election campaign, describing it as “a formality designed to affirm Gordon’s suitability for the job in the eyes of the public”. However, as the campaign went on it became clear that King’s blend of Old Labour economics and social libertarianism were going down well with a significant core of the party membership, and the fact that King had voted against the Iraq War was another factor in her favour. She ultimately attained 42% of the overall vote, winning the Affiliate college (60%) and Member college (51%) but taking only 15% of the MP and MEP ballot. With such a share of the vote it was inevitable that King would secure a cabinet position in Brown’s government. It is understood that she was offered something approaching a free choice of ministries, but whatever the truth of the matter, she accepted the Department of Trade and Industry. It is also widely believed that Brown would not have called the 2007 election without significant persuasion from King.

Following the economic crisis of 2008, King was an advocate of bank nationalisation, and helped to establish the arm's-length oversight scheme by which banking debt was to be rebalanced. Her suggestion that Brown call another election in early 2009 to judge public support for tougher banking regulation was apparently considered but ultimately rejected. 

King was untarnished by the parliamentary expenses scandals of 2009, but was concerned that the government should improve its image, especially after a severe kicking in the council elections. The 'National Government' reshuffle of June 2009 has the fingerprints of both King and Brown, but King's persuasive abilities were surely a factor in bringing it to fruition. She subsequently developed a strong working relationship with Liberal Democrat Treasury Minister Vince Cable. Later in 2009, King cemented her popularity by renationalising the East Coast rail franchise, and she followed this up in 2010 by blocking an American bid for the confectioner Cadbury's. By this point she was being characterised in the press as 'King Constance', an epithet she increasingly played up to. Her self-belief added to her persuasive powers, and was likely crucial in guiding the economic recovery.

King held onto her portfolio within the Brown/Clegg coalition that followed the 2012 election, and continued to pursue an effectively leftist agenda with Castle-like determination. As a Rotherham MP and former Sheffield councillor she was tangentially affected by the sex abuse scandals that emerged in the mid 2010s, and was swift to criticise former colleagues. But her own reputation remained largely untarnished. In 2015, Brown announced his intention to stand down from his position as PM, triggering a leadership contest. King put her name forward alongside David Miliband, Ed Miliband and Yvette Cooper, and won the first round of the election with 36% of the overall vote. However, after Ed Miliband and Yvette Cooper were eliminated and alternative votes applied, David Miliband was declared winner with an overall share of 50.02% against King's 49.98% -- as with 2007, King won both the Member college (53%) and Affiliate college (62%), but polled only 35% of MPs and MEPs. King was visibly disappointed to have lost so narrowly (a single MP would have swung things in her favour), but was nonetheless keen to use that narrowness to strengthen her economic brief and maintain her cabinet role overseeing Trade and Industry. King's election pitch had been criticised as too left-wing in comparison to David Miliband's neo-Blairite stance (she had characterised the choice on offer "ideology versus boring"), but she sought to use her strong showing as a means to reign in any Miliband-led drift back to "a dangerous Champagne Socialism" during the formation of the 2016 Manifesto.

Under the terms of the coalition agreement, Nick Clegg assumed Prime Ministerial duties going into the 2016 General Election. Labour gained 192 seats, against the Lib Dems' 189 and the Conservatives' 184: the closest three-way UK General Election result to date. Miliband and Clegg renegotiated the terms of the coalition, with Miliband as Prime Minister and Foreign Secretary, and Clegg in a strengthened second role as First Lord of the Treasury (decoupled from its traditional association with the PM post). This move gave the Liberal Democrats a much greater control of economic management, sidelining King's more radical agenda. Many of King's supporters saw this move as a slight, and were quick to caricature David Miliband as a self-absorbed peacock astrut upon the world stage, handing government to the Lib Dems to keep it unsullied by the left wing of his own party.

King shifted her efforts towards addressing the clamour for greater federal powers across the UK. She advocated the creation of 12 assembly areas to coincide with the European Parliamentary Constituencies ("let's keep it simple, eh?", as she told the House of Commons), and was promoting this model in Birmingham at the time of the London Bomb. Her reactions to the incident, caught on camera, were unquestionably impressive. She later told Lana Botney: "I don't know whether it was just a growing-up-in-the-'80s-watching-Threads sort-of-thing, or what it was, but I just kind of feared the worst: it seemed the most likely fit for what we'd just experienced. It was either that or an asteroid or something, and I thought, well, whatever it is, it's going to pose the same sort of threat." Before any confirmation was received, King had aides and press gathering weather reports, enacting local emergency strategies, contacting experts and planning evacuation options. As the enormity of the crisis became clear, she remained focused on the humanitarian aspect, maintaining an open, candid, and often emotional dialogue with the press.

Following the devastation of the London Bomb, King found herself the most senior member of the coalition, and promptly called an emergency assembly in York for any surviving MPs. Only 47 attended the first such assembly: the so-called Meeting of the 47. The meeting set priorities and enacted emergency powers, establishing King as interim Prime Minister. King appointed a new temporary cabinet built largely of lay experts, while council members from across the country were drafted to the new Parliament to re-establish a representative democracy.

King now faced growing criticism from the more Hawkish element of her new Parliament (and indeed from media and the military) who demanded retaliatory action. Chief of the Defence Staff, General Eugene Medlev, revealed military intelligence suggesting Iranian responsibility, and this increased the pressure on King even further. King remained unconvinced by Medlev's evidence, and stressed the need to concentrate military minds upon the relief effort. Medlev ignored King (operating on the dubious principle that the elected Prime Minister and his nominated 'second' were both dead, thereby permitting the armed services to follow the tactical lead of the 'letter of last resort'), and ordered HMS Vengeance to ready for a nuclear strike against Iran. On 21° May several King-loyalists and cabinet members were arrested by military personnel. King herself was at Lindrick, examining evidence discovered by a team of monitoring journalists at AVW that the bomb was the work of a company of unconventional performance artists called Diwydianfa, and that the 'plot' had even been outlined on an ATV variety show a week earlier. ISA officers then set about smuggling King into a safe-house in Sheffield, as reports came through that troops from the Fulford barracks were blockading the ad hoc parliament at the University of York.

From her safe-house, King broadcast the Diwydianfa evidence, partially undermining Medlev's integrity. She also revealed that Æ had regained control of the Teleforce system and had just used it to neutralise a sea-launched missile attack on Iran such as the one Medlev had been advocating. She demanded the release of all parliamentary and cabinet personnel, and the immediate withdrawal of York troops. But Medlev refused to comply with her demands, and the rest is an unpleasant present.

AVW continues to assert King's rightful authority as UK Prime Minister.